


Comet

by dvisyhead



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2079237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvisyhead/pseuds/dvisyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was a comet. The boy saw the comet, and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comet

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to watch the original youtube video this story is based off:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CQtc1MQITU&feature=youtu.be
> 
> I originally posted this story on tumblr, not on here, but I think it could use some more readers. I ended up having to rewrite this whole story after losing the original in a power outage, so I hope this version is alright. I hope you enjoy, and I hope it doesn't make you too sad.

_"I did not have a best friend for the first eighteen years of my life. And my friends always liked other people more than they liked me and sometimes it was extremely lonely and depressing. But that is just life."_

_Dan's own words cut him like a knife when he begins to edit the footage for his new video. It all reminded of Dan back when he was at university. He had little to no friends in general, and he was always depressed and sad. It brought the stinging pain of tears threatening to come into his eyes. Before he could dwell more on his dark past, Dan forced himself to get up and leave to take a breather. He left his bedroom and stumbled quickly downstairs, heading straight for the kitchen._

_Dan walked directly to the coffee maker, grabbing a mug from the cabinet overhead and setting it under the nozzle. He tried to slow his breathing as the coffee began to pour out into his cup. Soon enough, Phil wandered into the kitchen and stopped abruptly, noticing Dan was obviously upset._

_"Dan? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing." Dan mumbled as he brought the mug up to his lips, taking a quick sip and wincing slightly as the hot liquid burned his tongue. "Mother fucker." He whispered under his breath as he set the mug down._

_"It's obvious something is wrong. Tell me what happened."_

_Taking a deep breath, Dan turned around to face Phil. He stared down at his shoes, refusing to make eye contact with Phil as he spoke._

_"Well I was editing the footage I recorded for my new video, y'know the internet support group one? Well some girl asked me how to deal with having a friend who always make you a third wheeler and always put someone before you. And so I thought about how I felt the same back in my uni days and how I was always depressed and sad before i met you and-"_

_Dan cut himself off, realizing he was just rambling all of his words together and it probably made no sense. But somehow Phil understood, and his faced softened before he pulled Dan into a tight hug. Dan gently wrapped his arms back around Phil, resting his head against the crook of his neck._

_"Shhh it's okay Dan. You don't have to worry about any of that anymore. I'm always going to be here for you. I love you."_

_"I know. I love you too."_

_Dan removed his head from Phil's neck and let his lips press against Phil's. It was a passionate kiss, full of pain and happiness and tasting of coffee and tears as they held onto each other like it was their last moments together._

_-_

Dan didn't have a best friend for the first eighteen years of his life. It wasn't until he was nineteen when he met his best friend, Phil. Dan could easily remember how it felt to finally be able to hug and hold Phil in the crowded underground of Manchester for the first time. After months of skype calls and twitter messages, they finally were able to meet. And they hit it off instantly.

Dan somehow knew that him and Phil would become best friends. He also knew they would move in together and go on fun adventures together all over the world. He always imagined that they would make so many friends and just always be together, side by side through it all. What he didn't know was that eventually, he would fall in love with Phil. And honestly, Dan was glad he did. Phil was his everything, and he wouldn't have wanted their relationship any other way. It took two people to fall in love, and luckily Phil felt the same.

Phil brought meaning into his life. Dan always lacked direction, meaning, and aspirations when he went to university. But with Phil, he felt like he could do anything he wanted. A whole new world opened up to Dan, he no longer saw the dark grey skies like he did back when he was depressed. And even when Phil wasn't with him, he could just imagine Phil being with him and all of his worries would drift away. They were the forever couple. They were destined to be together forever, people said.

-

_"I'm sorry to have to inform you like this Mr. Howell. But there has been a bus crash in downtown London this afternoon. Your flat mate, Mr. Lester, was among the passengers. We checked his belongings, and inside his wallet he had this address written down for his home. We collected up all of his belongings-."_

_"Wait, what are you saying?" Dan was confused. The officer couldn't mean that Phil was gone. He couldn't be gone. Dan just sent him out to get some food for the night, nothing possibly could have happened in that short amount of time._

_"Mr. Howell, Phillip Lester is dead. I'm so sorry. We have his belongings here for you."_

_The police officer handed over a ziplock bag full of various items. Dan took the bag and examined the insides. His eyes rested on the familiar Astroboy wallet, realizing it was in fact Phil's. Dan felt tears begin to form in his eyes._

_"I'm sorry for your loss, sir."_

_The police officer nodded somberly and walked off, leaving a trembling and crying Dan alone at the front door._

-

Now, the thought of Phil brings Dan to the verge of tears. The love he had for the boy had been replaced with misery and longing. Every day, Dan was reminded of Phil. Their flat was a hell for Dan. He no longer made videos, or really went on any social media at all. He made a tweet a month after it happened, stating Phil was like a comet, coming into people's lives and brightening it up, before disappearing forever. It was poetic, and he knew Phil would have wanted something like that. After that Dan stopped leaving his bed, except to use the restroom or get food.

Dan spent most of his time remembering Phil and then trying to force the happy memories from his mind. But it was impossible, he couldn't just forget Phil. He was too unique to forget. Like a snowflake. Or a shooting star.

Yes, Phil was like a comet. Dan saw the comet, and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when Phil went away, Dan felt like waiting his entire life for him to come back to him. He was more than just a comet because of what he brought to his life. Direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes Dan walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday Phil would return to him, and Dan's world would be whole again. And his belief in god and love and art would be reawakened in his heart. Dan saw that Phil was a comet, and suddenly his life had meaning.

Everyone had tried to brighten up Dan's life and get him to leave the flat. They were all worried about him, they would call him a lot at the beginning and bang on his door, sometimes demanding for him to open up. But eventually they all gave up on him. And soon enough, Dan gave up on himself too.

It took a long time for Dan to realize he couldn't wait around for Phil to return, he knew Phil wouldn't just walk through the door and everything would be fine. Despite Dan's hopes and desires to have Phil alive and breathing again, it just wasn't going to happen. Dan had to take action into his own hands if he ever wanted to see his lovely comet ever again. He needed Phil to brighten up his life again.

It was almost a year after Phil had passed away, and Dan had himself held up inside of his room all alone, sitting on his bed. Dan gently played around with the empty pill bottle in his hand, staring down at his lap as he thought about Phil. He knew in his heart this was the right thing to do. He could be with Phil again, and they both could be happy again. Dan reached over and set the bottle next to a half empty bottle of vodka before repositioning himself to lay down. He rested his head against the pillow and felt a big rush of tranquility as he closed his eyes, a smile forming on his lips.

'I'm coming up to the sky with you, Phil. We can be shooting stars together.' Dan thought as he slowly drifted off into sleep.


End file.
